Vegemite

Ah, Vegemite – the food icon of Australia. I don’t know if any other country has the equivalent: one single brand of food that is such a colossal part of the cultural identity. And when you try to mess with such an icon, it doesn’t always go smoothly – a lesson Kraft is slowly learning.

So Vegemite, for those of you who don’t know, is this substance that kinda looks like hot fudge or Nutella, but tastes like a cross between salt, brewer’s malt, and salt (really, it’s so salty you probably get a week’s allowance in 1 teaspoon). The key to Vegemite is to use it sparingly, but it is still an acquired taste. And I’m determined to acquire it! I don’t know – maybe it will give me a cool accent? Maybe it will turn me into a sun-bleached surfer-babe? Maybe it’s just my effort to embrace local culture?

Anyway, Vegemite was invented in 1922, and has been doing just fine. But Kraft decided they needed to mix things up a bit, and thus begins the endless Vegemite media saga. Here’s a recap:
- In June, Kraft releases a new product that is basically Vegemite mixed with cream cheese
- They decide to open up a 3-month national contest to name this new product, and they receive 40,000 entries
- Kraft chooses the name “iSnack 2.0” (in an effort to make Vegemite cool to younger people. Yeah.)
- The Aussie public rebel – seriously, if they weren’t so laid-back, there might have been street-riots – and this fury is broadcast from every possible media outlet
- Kraft revokes the name and opens up a national vote to chose between Cheesybite, Creamymate, Smooth, Snackmate, Vegemate and Vegemild
- After nearly 5 months of seemingly endless Vegemite media coverage, they have chosen the name “Cheesybite.” So far, there’s been no public outcry at that name

So I can’t even begin to sum up all the criticism the name received, but one of my favourite critiques was “Do you really want to use the #2 to describe a thick brown substance?” Which also leads to my favourite name suggestion: iSh*te. (Yes, I may be a doctor, now, but I still appreciate a good poo joke.)